Like and dislike

As much as you are what you love, the things you hate define you. In short, you don’t have to like everything. Love to hate stuff.

Client: My daughter seems like she doesn’t fit in when she’s in a group, and I was like that too as a child, I’m concerned, but probably about myself.

Me: Your daughter’s situation became a reflection of yourself and you became aware of your discomfort. Talking about groups, there was one that I happened to see on social media and I thought, I hate these groups. It was the first time in a long time that I had felt considerable dislike for something, so I just went with it and experienced the emotion, and thought doing so I realized my values.

C: I see. I have a little bit of a difference from you. I have a bit of envy. It’s a conflicting feeling. I’m the type of person who would rather have my own time than chat in a group but the person at the center of the group is the kind of person who can say things openly. I like that.

Me: Likes and dislikes. It’s a bit of a different story, but the other day my friend saw my keyboard unboxing video and I was removing the sticker from the piano and he said, “I hate those people who don’t remove the stickers and use things as they are.”, which made me feel refreshed somehow. And my nieces and nephews have been making up stories about my dislike of cucumbers for about five years. I guess it has a cathartic effect when people clearly say “I hate it”

C: Haha. That reminds me, I wasn’t allowed to say I hate it as a child. I may have kept a lid on my feelings for a long time. That’s why I thought it’s nice to have someone who can say it clearly.

Me: I see. Just as joy requires sadness, if you accept the feelings of dislike without judging it, maybe you can also experience the feelings of love more.