Not holding back or Mum’s magic carpet!
If you’re not starting from scratch, then let the things you already have to tell you what to buy next. Let’s develop your “buyer's eye.”
When my client had time to be alone, she suddenly realized that her choices are usually influenced by other people. Her way of forcing herself to conform and put up with people can sometimes seem stubborn to others. The story reminded me of a recent episode involving my mother’s.
I stayed at a hotel in Tokyo with my mother for the first time in a long time and felt our vibrations rise. The next day, we decided to take a walk in the garden of another hotel in Tokyo. In that hotel arcade, there was a nice Persian carpet shop that we happened to enter.
And guess what? My mother bought a Persian carpet. It was also just when she was thinking of redecorating her room. It was a clearance sale from just that day, but it was a good price. She has always served her family, so it’s a good reward for her. Eventually, she will also pass it on to me. The key factor for her was that it was in my mother’s favorite colors.
But when the carpet arrived and was unrolled in the room, it was a darker color than she had expected and did not match the light beige flooring at all. My mother wondered, “How can I like this carpet?” and she couldn’t sleep at night thinking about it.
After hearing her story of trial and error, I said, “They accept returns. It often happens.” That never occurred to my mother. Because she was desperately trying to like a product that didn’t fit in her room. When she phoned the carpet shop, they readily complied and my mother was relieved.
We visited that carpet shop again. The carpet she had bought still looked good under the shop lights. She said, “I knew I loved it”. But we have to consider that what we like and whether it fits the room are two separate things. Like the things that you inadvertently choose just because you like them but never get to use them.
After more than an hour of careful selection, she decided on her second choice from the last time. While she was about to pay, I was trying to find a carpet for myself and I said, “Hey, I think this one fits better.” we hadn’t looked at it at all because it was a mix of silk and wool. Prices are on the same line though! We liked it immediately. It’s a carpet I will inherit in the future and I’m glad it’s not something my mother was forced to try to like.
And when she placed it in her room, it was perfect. Then the grandchildren said, “Grandma, you got a great one!”