Seeing through problems.
The more you want to stay away from the problem, the closer you get, just as when you say, “Don’t imagine a pink elephant,” the more you imagine a pink elephant. Instead, you need to face the problem.
Y’s session looked at the process of clarifying why she feels the way she does, rather than what to do about the people she doesn’t get along with. I thought it was amazing how the focus shifted from “others” to “my comparisons with others.”
I tend to get into their worldview as I’m listening to them, and I often empathize and struggle with them. But your way of listening, while entering the other person’s worldview, I felt like I saw a perspective that turned their worldview upside down in a good way. I feel that you see things differently. When you listen, do you naturally see the other person’s story and the world around them? In just 15 minutes, I felt like I was getting deeper and deeper into the essence and solution of their problems and issues.
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The client seemed to wish that people she didn’t like at work would not come and sit near her. So, on the full moon, she wrote the person’s name on a piece of paper and ripped it up with the image of letting go of it. However, the seats at work had changed and the person was seated close to her at work, and it seemed to have attracted her instead.
So why did the person’s seat come nearer her? The other person shows up to make him notice something. Listening to her, she compared herself to that person, which lead to blaming herself. I am myself and the other person is the other person. The essence of the problem is to let go of blaming herself, the other person was a mirror to let her know. It is not about letting go of others, but about letting go of your own beliefs.
When there is a problem, most people have their arrows pointing toward other people and the outside, so I have turned them back towards herself. The perspective is that the other person is a mirror and what are they are informing you about? It means that the other person is just a mirror. All events are happening to make us aware of ourselves within.
When noticing a problem, notice also your role in classifying it as a problem, and ask what is in you that sees it as a problem. In doing so you will discover cracks in your foundations that should be addressed to fill those cracks is to banish those problems forever.