The Silent Message from the Masters: A Journey from Sensibility’s Seed to Soul’s Bloom

Without knowing it was coming. I bumped into a 12-year-old goal without trying. Suddenly I could understand Art, like hitting the jackpot on a slot machine. After decades of buying lottery tickets, my number finally came up. Thank you, Vincent! Thank you MOMA!

In 2023, Tokyo. I visited the “Immersive Museum TOKYO on Post-Impressionism”. The space was expansive, and special audio effects and 360-degree projections on the walls and floors created a sense of immersion. In this setting, masterpieces by artists such as Van Gogh, Gauguin, Seurat, Signac, Cézanne, and Pissarro converged in one place. The exhibition was a revival of past works through modern technology.

While experiencing that exhibition, I was reminiscing about my past training in sensibility. Until my mid-30s, I had rarely set foot in art museums. Over the span of 12 years, I embarked on a journey to refine my own sensibilities. It felt like a form of training, as I engaged in activities I was neither particularly fond of nor averse to.

I have visited Auvers-sur-Oise, the final resting place of Van Gogh, as well as Cézanne’s studio in Aix-en-Provence and the Mont Sainte-Victoire. I’ve extensively viewed Post-Impressionist paintings in museums across Paris, London, New York, and Tokyo, and have watched every Van Gogh movie I could find. In my room, I even have Van Gogh’s “Almond Blossoms” hanging on the wall. When an exhibition featuring Van Gogh and Gauguin was held at the Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum in Ueno, I was deeply moved by an anecdote in which Gauguin, who lived in Tahiti, grew sunflowers and later used them as a motif in his paintings. For some reason, my emotional connection felt particularly deep when visiting the Immersive Museum TOKYO, perhaps because I have been so intertwined with these artists’ works.

Seeing the sunflower paintings by Van Gogh and Gauguin side by side, tears welled up in my eyes. The sun in Van Gogh’s “The Sower” seemed to pulsate as if it had a heartbeat, the stars in “Café Terrace at Night” twinkled, and petals from “Almond Blossoms” floated down. When I felt the stroke of one of those petals, I sensed the time the artist had spent on the piece. It looked as if it was pulsating with life itself.

I was surprised by the depth of my own emotional reaction. My long journey of cultivating my sensibility was rewarded at this moment. This newfound awakening felt like a silent message from the master, Van Gogh, and marked my graduation from a personal complex.

The discipline in art and the cultivation of sensibility were never in vain. They were valuable journeys for gaining artistic freedom and discovering my true self. Now, I am free to express myself as authentically as I wish. Believing in oneself must mean something like this.

This moving experience at the museum marked the opening of a new chapter in my life. A new life awaits, where I can let go of my belief that I lack sensibility and relish in the freedom of expression and richness of feelings. My training in sensibility is not over; it is an eternal journey, and that journey will continue. I want to vividly paint the story of my life, savoring each step, and, as a life’s work, it will also help clients chart their own life stories.